Space Moose Annotations

The following comments were written by Adam Somebodyorother, the author of Spacemoose. In some cases I have edited them to remove his real name, as per his wishes (that's right, Somebodyorother is not his real surname).

The dates given indicate when the comment was written, not when the strip was penned.

Smash your ugly face in
Space Moose is an individual who has abolished all personal hang-ups and sensibilities (assuming he ever had any). As Gordon "Knuckles" Reid once noted, Space Moose is pure id. His complete lack of moral barriers and squeamishness gives him tremendous strength and makes him virtually indomitable. He can lie without guilt, kill without remorse and eat horse diarrhea without puking. In this strip, he demonstrates how brute strength can be trumped by raw horniness. [July 22, 1998]
An evening of poetry
This strip apparently generated a fair amount of ill will among the people from the sexual assault centre. They never made any public statements about it, but I heard there was quite a bit of grumbling behind the scenes. "Expressions and experiences - an evening of poetry" is an annual event hosted by the University of Alberta Sexual Assault Centre where people are invited to come forward and present poetry about rape, harassment, etc.. I have never attended, but I imagine my unorthodox verse would be less than welcome. So, I sent Space Moose in my place.

The final limerick in this strip is
My middle-aged first cousin Bob
Implored me to polish his knob
I flatly declined
But Bob's rage was blind
Through violence he got his blowjob

I did not mind obscuring the last two lines since they scan not so well. [May 30, 1998]
Happy birthday, Miranda
There is an elegance to a comic strip that uses no dialogue. I am reminded of my favorite newspaper comic when I was growing up, a humble yarn called Henry about a boy with leukemia or something. Henry never spoke a word, but he whistled a lot and that was good enough. A fishing rod, an old hat, or a cast-iron buttplug--Henry took the simplest, everyday props and turned them into masterstrokes on his comedy canvas. This week's feature strip is my homage to Henry. May his legacy live forever.

Space's thumbs-up in the final frame was a complete afterthought, but it makes the strip, dontcha think? [August 24, 1998]
Spirits of Ouija
Some idiot (Ryan Thiessen) identified this particular strip as "sexist" in a letter to the Manitoban last April. Here is a working definition of "sexism" courtesy of Merriam-Webster Inc.:
behavior, conditions, or attitudes that foster stereotypes of social roles based on sex
So... um... well, I do not see how spelling C-U-N-T on a Ouija board fosters any stereotypes except, perhaps, that demons like profanity. But that is just my opinion. I am not enlightened. I am a convicted misogynist. [September 14, 1998]
Cyberspace Moose
The last frame of this strip was a half-assed attempt to imitate the ubiquitous Maxell ads from the '80s. Unfortunately, I did not have a copy of the ad from which to work, so there are not many accurate details. Note the portrait of Space Moose's proctologist (from The lesions aren't herpetic) on the wall. Last I checked, the address http://www.hotanus.org did not exist. [June 15, 1998]
Ask my ass
This is as highbrow as it gets, folks. Marlo makes the mistake of asking Space Moose an innocent question. Space Moose, never one to miss an opportunity, defers the question to his booty hole. Marlo, so stodgy and uptight, refuses to speak to the ass. This is how prejudice destroys communication.

It is curious how in frame 3 the words come from Space Moose's mouth, but in frame 5 his sphincter takes over. Then in frame 6 the mouth is speaking again. [September 29, 1998]
Extreme Space Moose
This strip was mainly a spoof of those insipid Mountain Dew ads featuring the ultracool extreme guys. "Extreme" has become a badge of pride worn by so-called dare devils who partake in dangerous activities for the sake of one-upmanship. "My sport is more extreme than yours, therefore I am cooler." In the Do the Dew ads we see the extreme dudes snowboarding, rollerblading and mountain biking. Come on. I can think of a million things more extreme than that. What ever happened to cliff diving which killed and paralyzed more Americans in the 1970s than any other sport? Or sword swallowing which the Guinness book of records will not cover because of its high death toll? I would like to see the Mountain Dew guys try to break Jon Brower Minnoch's record of gaining 91 kg (200 lbs) in 7 days. Now that's extreme. [August 3, 1998]
Bible study
I have always wondered how Bible fans resolve the more outrageous passages in the "good book". In my childhood, I had many Scriptures read to me and interpretted, but they always seemed to be happy ones where Jesus is performing miracles and saving lives. Rarely did we delve into the Old Testament, except to cite the book of Genesis, and it was always the same old passages: God made this, God blessed that. What about the rest of the Bible?

You always hear, "it's a beautiful book." Is it really? I have been reading it on and off for the past few years, and I can tell you, it is the most tedious thing I have ever endeavored to read. What keeps me going back is that there is some really weird shit in there. God used to be quite pissed off in the old days. He took out His wrath on mankind with rivers of blood (Exodus 7:20), hemorrhoids (Deut. 28:27), genocide (Gen. 7:23, Gen. 19:24, Deut. 3:1-6, Joshua 10:28-37, etc.) and other creative means. My favorite part so far is in Malachi 2:1-3 where God tells all priests if they do not listen to Him and honor His name, He will spread their own shit on their faces. We never learned that in Sunday school. [October 11, 1998]
Another Yop
Shortly after this strip appeared on the Space Moose web page, I received the following letter:
I've been a faithful fan of Space Moose for almost a year now. In fact, I have several Space Moose comics on my wall(s). Usually, the strips are hilarious, despite their somewhat graphic and/or questionable contents. As an open-minded individual, I am seldom "offended" by the exploits of the infamous talking moose in Space Trek garb. Your latest strip, however, has crossed the line. Pedophilia is no laughing matter. Just ask the millions of children who've been raped, beaten, or otherwise molested. Chances are, they're not going to laugh at your strip. Quite the contrary, most, if not all, would probably spit in your face.
Boy, what a bunch of rude kids! I would like to point out, for the record, that Leon has not been raped, beaten nor molested by Space Moose. Leon is not the innocent little child that he seems. He sure knows how to push Marlo's (and the readers') buttons, though.

Yop is a yoghurt drink produced by Yoplait, which I believe is still popular in Europe. [November 19, 1998]
Block parent
It has been brought to my attention that people from outside Canada do not know about the Block Parents Program. (For shame!) Specially screened parents in residential areas across Canada offer their home as a safe place to children who find themselves in dangerous or frightening situations. These homes are designated by the red "block parent" sign. All children are brought up to know what this sign means. It has been an institution for all my life. Fortunately, as a child I never had to turn to block parents. I was a fiesty little sodomite. [December 2, 1997]
Big kids
The Happy Mart is an object of childhood nostalgia for me. It was a typical suburban gas station/convenience store where little kids went to buy candy and slurpees while older kids hung outside and smoked. I always feared the big kids and longed for the moment that their parents would roll up in the family K-car and drag them off by the ear. Space Moose's solution is good too.

The text on the smart-ass punk's shirt in frame 3 says "Marilyn Manson". [October 23, 1998]
Concentration
This one-framer was drawn upon request for the University of Alberta Chess Club pamphlet. The position of the pieces on the board, although they are impossible to make out, were taken from a classic grandmaster game. I can no longer remember which one. The moves being considered by Space's corpulent opponent were the actual moves played. Space Moose is winning. [March 15, 1999]